LET
US SPARE A THOUGHT FOR ESTHER ARUNGA
By George Marenya
As
a man you must have bumped on a lady, your heart skipped two stairs down, and
you blamed yourself for not having tried to even say hi.
Funny
thing, sometimes it is a question of meeting a woman in the lift. But something
still tells you, “George, what man are you? You couldn’t even take her number?”
So
it was that sometime in early 2008, in the company of my frenemie Wilberforce Akidiva, I met Esther Arunga at The Stanley.
Arunga
on screen and in person is as comely as they come. Soft spoken, crisp, sweet.
For our part, we wanted to meet her for the sake of it.
Don’t call that perversion.Just
understand us.
That
was then. After which all hell broke loose. There was marriage, a fringe
church, a husband, political ambitions, press conferences, psychiatric care,
law suits or threats thereof; the works.
As
Maurice Mashiwa insists, it all boils down to choice. Choice to chart our
destiny, choice to live as we please, choice to be free from family and
societal ambitions. Yes, the ability to be a freeborn and live as such.
Upon
achieving majority age, the liberal juggernaut is supposed to reign supreme. At
the heart of civil liberties lies the sacrosance of the individual.
But
does it work? Is man happiest when they listen to their own melody?
The
Good Book ordains that we respect our parents and that this is the first
commandment with a promise.
Indeed
we are told to“respect your father and your mother, so that you may live a long
time. Exodus 20:12.”
Theologians
may argue about the meaning of the word respect in this context when weighed
against the edict that “a man shall
leave his father and mother and be united with his wife.”Genesis 2:24.
This
same notion was repeated by Jesus at Mathew 19:15. But “leaving”, a stepping
out, a moving out of the immediate purvey; this cannot confused for a casting
away, a disowning a rebellion. No, don’t eat the orange and throw the peel away.
Man
is a social animal.He does not do very well in isolation, he does not thrive as
a free radical.
The
heady feeling that comes with carving our own fiefdom, a nirvana within which
nobody should interfere, is fleeting, momentary, transient.
Once
the magic has fizzled away, we sober up, take a panoramic view, then feel like
John Rubadiri’s drunkard waking up in a prostitutes apartment somewhere near
Nakulabye.
The
Bill of Rights comes with freedom of association and the right to make
unfeterred choices. But choices have consequences. This statement, though
popularized in Kenyan parlance as if it was discovered yesterday has always
existed since the Garden of Aden.
Arunga
was quoted in the local press as saying that she entered marriage with very
little idea about the institution. She blamed her mother for not having taught
her abit more
I
don’t know whether this is the same mother who had been slapped with a suit at
the height of the controversy surrounding Arunga.
I
don’t know about the details. I even don’t knowEsther Arunga apart from our fleeting encounter in early 2008. Actually
the post – election violence was still full throttle. So the conversation was a clipped as could be.
But alas!
Yours
truly walked away happy that I had met a shaken hands with our “princess
Miranda.”
I
only use her experience (s) to show how it would be good to have a close knit
family. How people should breathe in hard before making the most important
decisions in our lives.
How
we could do well if we looked at our parents in the eye and told them asante
for the years they have put into raising us.I don’t know what lies ahead for
Arunga Downunder. Australia, at least part of it has the same clime as Gem
Yala.
So
that while the terrain may be familiar, their current circumstances are rather unenviable.
I look forward to a time they can pick up a phone and have a healthy
conversation with their families and friends back home.I hope they will do that
soon. Out of Jail of course.
George
Marenya is Director of Yala Outcomes.
