Not yet Uhuru!

Not yet Uhuru!

My own rendition…..Of a bewitched Uhuru and a confused Mudavadi

Deputy Prime minister Uhuru Kenyatta is a man of many firsts. From rising to power in a record time to his latest installments of political melodrama and the list is endless.

That in 1997 he sought to represent Gatundu south in parliament is common knowledge. And that he was beaten hands down and his political ineptness exposed in spectacular fashion is something we cannot deny

But in  a period of two good years the political novice that was the son of old Jommo had risen to unprecedented heights of political power. In 1999, he had been nominated to parliament, appointed a government minister, given the chairmanship of the all powerful KANU, and it was an open secret he was been groomed to usurp the tenancy of the house on the hill, thanks to retired president Daniel Moi.

There was rightful disquiet within political circles when Uhuru Kenyatta, then a political minion, announced his intention to vie for the country’s top seat, as many wondered how fast he climbed the political ladder, again this coming as an eye opener to all and sundry as we slowly and bitterly learnt that Kenya had owners.

Needless to say the man lost to one Mwai Kibaki who, staring defeat from Moi’s all powerful and handsomely funded project, concocted a coalition with all the political heavyweights to clinch the presidency as Uhuru Kenyatta, once again, lost.

It was in the young years of the coalition that Uhuru Kenyatta was absorbed back into the government as he sought to contest the presidency in 2007, but again shelved his interests in favor of the then incumbent Mwai Kibaki who was facing stiff competition from Raila Odinga and a revamped anti government club of stalwarts who were riding high after defeating Kibaki, and the government in a referendum vote.

Lets jump to his latest installment of his political fairly tale , as he seeks once again, to commandeer the house on the hill, half a century later after his father, Mzee Jommo Kenyatta pulled the country’s strings when it was at its tender, young independent toes.

A few days ago, Uhuru Kenyatta, then the most serious presidential candidate poised to give prime minister Raila Odinga a hard time in race for presidency, cottoned up to a marriage of convenience when he teamed up with DPM Musalia Mudavadi seen as a compromise candidate and the much needed replacement for Uhuru should he and Eldoret north MP William Ruto be hauled to the Hague to answer charges leveled against them by the international criminal court.

In a  roller coaster wedding punctuated by vows of “Jubilee”, Uhuru is said to have been under duress, or whatever that is , or as he claimed, to be under the control of dark forces , maybe those of Satan or “Madimoni” and agreed to back Mudavadi for presidency.

according to Uhuru in his latest testimony to the people of Kenya, he claimed that Mudavadi told him to step down due to his impending case at the Hague that was making him a really hard to sell commodity., and Uhuru bought that, rightfully.

It was after a bit of soul searching that the son of Jommo decided not to vie and not to knock Ruto out of the running mate position.

Drama unfolded a week later when Musalia Mudavadi came out crying that he had been shortchanged in the Jubilee coalition and even wanted out. According to Mudavadi, Uhuru and Ruto drove to his riverside Drive home after realizing that Kalonzo Musyoka and Raila Odinga had teamed up to create the cord coalition, and wanted the former to enter into a collation with them where they allegedly promised him of the presidential position on a jubilee ticket.

That said , it is a shame to see how the so called leader team up to make political outfits that are not in the interest of Kenyans, but aimed at dividing Kenyans along tribal lines.

That’s why we have elected the bad leaders and locked out those leaders who could have transformed Kenya.

This philosophy muttering uhuru is the same man whose dad sowed the seeds of ethnical discord and hatred and perfected the art of dividing Kenyans along tribal lines.

It is common knowledge that Uhuru is after safeguarding their ill gotten wealth which they grabbed in broad day light,

Look at Mudavadi, he is a charming, even tempered politician who could have trounced all opposition had he been nominated as the jubilee flag bearer, but what did he do when he was in parliament? And when he was a vice president? Nothing!

Here is a list of political marriages that will never stand.

1. Uhuru/Mudavadi/Ruto’s Jubilee

People with the same malady are known to gang up together as they console each other of their misfortune. Look at how they poor love to hang out with the poor? Uhuru and Ruto are such for obvious reasons. That was why their political marriage with Mudavadi could not see the light of the day as the later was a clueless outsider who was to be used for their political gains. Who knows if he won the presidency on a jubilee ticket, maybe he would be hauled out of the top seat by a well orchestrated vote of no confidence or he could even be coup de tat’d or even go missing. Go Musalia go! This was not for you. But before you go Mr. Musalia, looks like you have a penchant for freebies? That will never work for you in this country. Go well my brother.

More gloom is however set to rock the jubilee house. An Uhuru presidency is doomed to fall considering the ICC bagaage and the political arithmetics of tribal politics that Kenyans have perfected.

It is an open secret that most Kenyans will not vote in another kikuyu president when the outgoing one is a Kikuyu and while the first president was a kikuyu.

A Mudavadi presidency, a non Kikuyu, was seen by pundits as the winning formulae and the best poised to compete with the organized house that is the Cord comprising of Raila  Odinga and Kalonzo Musyoka. And with their mention let’s look at the marriage number two that is doomed.

2. Raila and Kalonzo’s Cord.

The storm before a storm.who does not know Kalonzo is the King of Vigeugeus? Or the biggest and freshest water melon around? He is a reknowned fence sitter who knows just how well to pita kati kati yao.

Now that he gave Raila a chance to bear the flag of Cord and agreed to play second fiddle to raila, and now that he has been annihilated by his own arch rival in the battle of the watermelons, this clearly remains a breeze before the storm, there is no way the Tseikuru man can allow such capitulation even after swearing by his mother’s name that his name must be at the ballot. Let’s wait and see the drama as it unfolds. Yours truly will be on the sidelines to bring you the latest developments as Kalonzo departs from the norm and reclaims his position as the king! Hail the king of all water melons.

Prime mister Raila Odinga is another kettle of fish altogether. He is a political schemer, and has a thick skin for your information. Who was not astounded when the self proclaimed reformer joined Moi in 1998 after his party merged with Moi’s.

Raila cuts the mien of a good leader, but his supporters will cost him the  leadership of this country. Who wants a government where some villains will refuse to pay taxes, rent, fare, bills, etc because they dad Raila is the president. This man has done little to remove the speck that his fans have permanently fixed in is character, fatally destroying his credentials to govern.

3. The Tuju/ Kenneth alliance of Eagles

Billed as the best coalition that could have been voted in by a landslide were the main protagonists able to woo voters with their speckles lives in politics and their issue based campaigns, this group remains  a clueless bunch of politicians who do not know what they want. The best thing remaining fir them is to seek lesser seats where they will triumph effortlessly as they reengineer their 2017 campaigns.

As for Kenneth, we love you very much, but for now, get a small seat, maybe a senatorial seat before its too late, otherwise you are well positioned to scoop a ticket ro political oblivion for another five cool years, out of the much needed limelight for 2017 and thereafter.

4. Kamencu and any other aspirant

Whoever gangs up with Kingwa Kamencu in the name of political marriages that have rocked this country is deemed to ear n outright condemnation and embarrassment.

How will you convince Kenyans to vote you and you will ensure they will no longer wear underwear? Someone called this the influence of bhang and a concoction of other drugs that I will not name.

Yesterday, Uhuru kenyata was named the Jubilee alliance candidate to face off with Raila Odinga in what is billed as the most temperamental political contest in the country since independence. According to me, and let me reiterate here, this is my own honest opinion, this is a done deal. You might want to say opinions never count, nor do opinion polls in this country, but truth be told, from what we saw yesterday at Kasarani, Raila will laugh all the way to the revered house on the hill come March 5, or 6. The duo, both suspects at the international criminal court had clearly nothing to tell Kenyans other than to attack Raila and his ilk. No wonder the jeers outnumbered the cheers and this says a lot.

Thats why Kenyans from Kacheliba to Kabartorjo, Kilifi to Kakamega, Othaya to Siaya are becoming increasingly corded faster than Uhuru says jubilee. The voices of most Kenyans remain, NOT YET UHURU, whether you like it or not. Enough said.