Kenyans will never learn! Here are the ingredients of post election violence

Lessons from the party nominations

Kenyan politics are made from stuff that can make the most dramatic soap operas and make the masters of all soaps, the Mexicans, proud, but the only tragedy with this political drama is, the precision at which they so predictably turn tragic.

Last week I witnessed a gang of men knock out three canines from a young lad who had allegedly fled with campaign money which had been dished out by a politician. 

The incident happened near Kangemi where, as has been the custom when big shot politicians come calling and hunting for votes, youths, market women, street children and people of all walks the streets of life line up for the windfall that will be dished out and not for the unending promises that politicians make.

Now, this lad happened to be so near to the campaign trucks and when that time came, he was among the ones who grabbed wads of notes from the grubby fingers of campaign mandarins, and as predicted, made a mad dash that could have made David Rudisha proud.

Drama unfolded when a 500 strong army of hungry youths and market women descended on him, eager to get something from the fall, and man! It was a sight to behold as people rushed, bashed, jostled for space and outran each other in hot pursuit of the money laden guy.

Tragedy strikes

After about ten minutes of the gold rush, the fleeing guy’s journey was cut short by one sweep that knocked him to the ground and within no time, he had been relieved of all the money.

The tattered notes, some torn in half and others into minute pieces were strewn all over the place, perhaps to serve as a reminder to the locals of their greed for money, and just for the record, I saw a guy gobble up a wad of notes into his mouth.

Worried man

I was a worried man. Worried because I expected that at this day and age people should act with a certain degree of civility. Who knows, if they lined up and shared the cash in a civilized way, maybe everyone could have gotten something to take home and no money could have been wasted. But then I realized it the same Kenyans who are dirt poor and can’t wait to lay their hands on the money, some just to feed themselves.

I am not about to preach civility to Kenyans, because I know will fair badly off. But it’s time we changed our archaic and barbaric ways as far as political campaigns are concerned.

At about the same time, just when I was chatting with a heavily inebriated youth who was weak enough not to fight for the windfall, tragedy stroke.

There were cries and shrieks but one particular horrific wail signaled danger.

A man’s eye had been gorged out, and three of his front teeth knocked off. Reason, he breached a contract.

On getting closer, I realize he is the same man who bolted with campaign cash. It was a plan, I learn, by a group of youth to run away with the cash and the man made a fatal error when he fell, denying the others their lion’s share of the loot. And that was the price to pay.

Now this is the tragedy

Every five years, Kenyans live in peace, tolerate each other and work together regardless of their tribes and political affiliations, but come electioneering period, and they turn against each other, thanks to politicians who successfully divide them along tribal lines and feed them with stolen cash.

Most people get a smattering amount of this campaign money, some getting as little as KShs 20, money that cannot even buy a packet of milk!

The party nominations came around last Thursday and anyone who witnessed the tragic drama can bear with me that violence, voter bribery, mass importation of voters and sheer anarchy ruled the exercise, shaming Kenya as a democracy.

Two pence

If what we saw in the sham party nominations was a sneak preview of the general elections, we better be prepared for more anguish, more pain, more internally displaced persons, more bloodshed, courtesy of we Kenyans for allowing the politicians to use us.

When politicians use money to control our minds, when the police will be caught unawares again, we are poised to have the mother of all post election violence!

I rest my case!

Of Fake degrees in a fake country

Of fake degree papers and drama kings

Starehe MP Bishop Dr. Margeret Wanjiru is a distraught woman.

In a span of one short month she has seen her political star dim in never seen before speeds, thanks solely to her degree papers that someone somewhere decided were not in order.

Over the last month, the good bishop has faced the toughest time of her short political career. Leave alone being declared illegitimately elected in 2007 and trouncing her competitors only to silence them with a landslide win in the by elections, this time she has been barred from contesting the Nairobi gubernatorial seat, at least on an ODM ticket, after her degree certificates were found to be defective.

Even if that might be true, at least if reports from the Commission on higher education are anything to go by, this begs the question, just why this late?

The party could have vetted her a long time ago and declared her unfit to run! Here, as someone whispered to me, political games have been played, and as Kenyans are wont to say, Money has been poured!

Although an impeccable source privy to her academic documents insinuated that she got her Master’s degree way before her undergraduate degree, something that is alien in the academic world, there is certainly more than meets the eye.

Bishop Wanjiru, in her televised rebuttal said she is a proud owner of five degree papers, 2 academic and three honorary, but claims abound that the theological colleges she attended abroad are not authorized to confer degrees.

Day of Reckoning

Last Tuesday, the Orange Democratic Movement, a vessel that the bishop had chosen to steer her to the governor’s seat, disqualified her from contesting, leaving his rival and business manager Evans Kidero, to clinch the party nomination  unrivalled.

That was her day of reckoning, the day she saw her political ambitions go down the drain in a flash.

It is not clear whether the bishop is vying for any other elective post.

Clifford Waititu the drama king

Ferdinand Waititu is made of sterner stuff. He has been in the news for all the wrong reasons.

At one time, he was arrested for fanning hate speech in Kayole, Embakasi after he ordered all maasai’s to vacate the area, only to defend himself by making one of the most freakiest excuses.

He said that he was telling his Maasai friends that, “Masaa hii hii wanaenda” loosely translated to mean “my friends are leaving immediately’ and as expected tye toothless dog that is the National Cohesion and Integration Commission bought that!

In his latest installment of political drama, he has been on the spotlight, this time over his degree papers.

The papers are said to bear the names, Clifford Waititu, while his ID has Ferdinand Waititu as his name. Fortunately, Waititu has survived all this and even went ahead to stun his political rival for the Nairobi gubernatorial seat, the moneyed business magnate and self made billionaire, Jimnah Mbaru, who had been touted to have three top of the range campaign tracks, had erected three billboards at strategic place3s and went on to lost The national alliance ticket to Waititu, who has fashioned himself as a man of the people.

My two pence on this, there comes a time when the truth has to set you free.

I rest my case!