Eating humble pie and moving on…

As the tedious, hypocritical and rigorous electioneering period drew to a close after the announcement of a fresh winner by the electoral commission following the watershed poll, Kamau who voted for the winning Jubilee faction has resumed his duties as a bus conductor, Moraa is still mongering fish, Mustapha is back to his bodaboda business while Wafula the “Soldier” has fully resumed his duties at the Patel’s garage where he ekes out a living.  

To many Kenyans , the elections were just that, a democratic exercise which comes every five years, makes them feel like the real bosses as the rich and corrupt politicians bribe them with loads of campaign cash, and after giving them a fresh mandate in return, everything goes back to normal.

 Emotions are part of us, but for heaven’s sake, there must be a winner and a loser and if you lose democracy gives you and your losing candidate another option, that of moving to court to seek legal redress if you think the poll was not legit.

This is probably why Ojwang’, my long time friend, can no longer talk to me as he is still mourning, again exposing the tribal animals we have become.

Tribal lines

It is true that Kenyans voted along tribal lines and are largely polarized when it comes to politics and who to support in case of a political contest.

That is why Nyanza votes the ODM Party in a six piece and fails to choose the right leaders and that is why Dr Evans Kidero, the most suited for the Nairobi gubernatorial seat was overwhelmingly voted in Nairobi by a cosmopolitan population whose majority is not from Nyanza. 

That said, Kenyans must move on with their lives regardless of whether their candidates won or lost.

For the losers like James Ole kiyiapi, Martha Karua, Peter Kenneth, Mwalimu Dida, and Paul Muite, you fought the good fight but you lost. Thank you for accepting the will of the people.

To immediate former Prime Minister Raila Amollo Odinga, the people liked you and promised to vote for you but failed you at the ballot, just accept their will and move on with your life, Kenya is really bigger than you.

Move to court, but know that even if the courts call for a repeat election, you will not win, Kenyans have refused you at the ballot in a democratic exercise and will do it again, only this time. Resoundingly and furthermore you do not have the numbers.

I wonder what your handlers think about that.   

   

Reign of terror

I know most people expected a reign of terror as violence spilled from the courts to the streets, but thank God, Kenyans are more than that, our democracy has really matured.

As my friend Ojwang wastes his time mourning, the children of Raila Odinga are millionaires who will not provide a kilo of Unga during supper time.

Wake up and smell the coffee, wait for another five years just like others whose candidates lost, just like yours truly here, when you will have another chance to give jobs to others regardless of whether you are jobless or not.

As we wait for their gold plated promises to water down to nothing, it must be our resolve to work hard and lover each other, after all we are the sufferers, the losers, and the misers and we belong together.

Riff Raff of the society

And as they said, misery likes company. Let’s join hands and build our country.

Who cares for the losers, they are millionaires whose cash can buy YOU and your clan. Period!

Kenyans will never learn! Here are the ingredients of post election violence

Lessons from the party nominations

Kenyan politics are made from stuff that can make the most dramatic soap operas and make the masters of all soaps, the Mexicans, proud, but the only tragedy with this political drama is, the precision at which they so predictably turn tragic.

Last week I witnessed a gang of men knock out three canines from a young lad who had allegedly fled with campaign money which had been dished out by a politician. 

The incident happened near Kangemi where, as has been the custom when big shot politicians come calling and hunting for votes, youths, market women, street children and people of all walks the streets of life line up for the windfall that will be dished out and not for the unending promises that politicians make.

Now, this lad happened to be so near to the campaign trucks and when that time came, he was among the ones who grabbed wads of notes from the grubby fingers of campaign mandarins, and as predicted, made a mad dash that could have made David Rudisha proud.

Drama unfolded when a 500 strong army of hungry youths and market women descended on him, eager to get something from the fall, and man! It was a sight to behold as people rushed, bashed, jostled for space and outran each other in hot pursuit of the money laden guy.

Tragedy strikes

After about ten minutes of the gold rush, the fleeing guy’s journey was cut short by one sweep that knocked him to the ground and within no time, he had been relieved of all the money.

The tattered notes, some torn in half and others into minute pieces were strewn all over the place, perhaps to serve as a reminder to the locals of their greed for money, and just for the record, I saw a guy gobble up a wad of notes into his mouth.

Worried man

I was a worried man. Worried because I expected that at this day and age people should act with a certain degree of civility. Who knows, if they lined up and shared the cash in a civilized way, maybe everyone could have gotten something to take home and no money could have been wasted. But then I realized it the same Kenyans who are dirt poor and can’t wait to lay their hands on the money, some just to feed themselves.

I am not about to preach civility to Kenyans, because I know will fair badly off. But it’s time we changed our archaic and barbaric ways as far as political campaigns are concerned.

At about the same time, just when I was chatting with a heavily inebriated youth who was weak enough not to fight for the windfall, tragedy stroke.

There were cries and shrieks but one particular horrific wail signaled danger.

A man’s eye had been gorged out, and three of his front teeth knocked off. Reason, he breached a contract.

On getting closer, I realize he is the same man who bolted with campaign cash. It was a plan, I learn, by a group of youth to run away with the cash and the man made a fatal error when he fell, denying the others their lion’s share of the loot. And that was the price to pay.

Now this is the tragedy

Every five years, Kenyans live in peace, tolerate each other and work together regardless of their tribes and political affiliations, but come electioneering period, and they turn against each other, thanks to politicians who successfully divide them along tribal lines and feed them with stolen cash.

Most people get a smattering amount of this campaign money, some getting as little as KShs 20, money that cannot even buy a packet of milk!

The party nominations came around last Thursday and anyone who witnessed the tragic drama can bear with me that violence, voter bribery, mass importation of voters and sheer anarchy ruled the exercise, shaming Kenya as a democracy.

Two pence

If what we saw in the sham party nominations was a sneak preview of the general elections, we better be prepared for more anguish, more pain, more internally displaced persons, more bloodshed, courtesy of we Kenyans for allowing the politicians to use us.

When politicians use money to control our minds, when the police will be caught unawares again, we are poised to have the mother of all post election violence!

I rest my case!

Politically Incorrect!

 Politically incorrect

That Martha Wangari Karua, a presidential hopeful is worth only Sh.56 million is not only ridiculously unbelievable but also treacherous.

In a country where what you have and not what you can do is the only thing that matters, her confession yesterday  can only boost her political career and also prove to her doubting critics that her level of integrity as a leader is unrivalled.

56 million shillings is a lot of money by certain standards, but that coming from a presidential aspirant raises some questions as most Kenyans believe only the filthily rich can govern.

Just last week, The National Alliance, a political party that sponsors Deputy Prime minister Uhuru Kenyatta for presidency declared that it will use 13 billion shillings only to campaign for the next two months.

What is most appalling is that Kenyans cannot stand up and ask where they got all this money, but they will, in their usual characteristic fashion, worship the money and the leaders and forget about the modest and sincere leaders who have not stolen our money, leaders like Martha Karua.

Yesterday I met a friend who was complaining that every time she withdraws cash from her bank ATM, a cool 300 shillings disappears.

Her position was that a presidential front liner, who is among the majority shareholders in the said bank, might be robbing her hard earned money to campaign.

That aside, Kenyans might have gotten their answer in the form of Martha Karua.

If her figures are true, which I presume are, she is a person of modest means and there is general comfort in knowing that we can for once break from the power mandarins featuring the same names since independence, Names like Kenyatta, Odinga, Mudavadi, Moi have been circulated and regurgitated for the last half of a century, that s why Kenya will never move forward as these cronies are after safeguarding what their fathers had stolen in subsequent regimes.

Uhuru Kenyatta was estimated to be worth 56 billion shillings by the Forbe’s magazine.

It is completely clear that he is not after leading this country to greener pastures but to safeguard certain interests. What will a salary of 4 million that he will earn as president do to his fat wallet and treacherously deep pockets, anyway?

It is common knowledge that a Karua presidency will deliver the goods, at least for the dirt poor of this country whose interests have never been represented. They have only been raped by one regime after the other, they have been used, misused and abused, and they have witnessed stinking corruption, high levels of crime, murders, violence and have been made to kill each other after being divided along tribal lines by the so called leaders.

Now let’s look at the figures.

Martha Karua has represented Gichugu constituency for the last 20 years.  Let’s assume she earned a cumulated salary of KES 1 million per month. That amounts to a cool 12 million in one year.

Let’s multiply 12 million with the twenty years she has been in parliament. What do we have? 240 million shillings.

Factor in the lavish lifestyles that MPs live and the figure of 56 million in fixed assets, including a home and two vehicles, looks more than convincing.

That said; can all those doubting the figures stand up? And shut up!

That implies that we can now exempt Hon. Karua from corruption, thieffery, and misappropriation of funds. That’s the best measure on integrity.

Now let’s have a look at his rivals.

Peter Kenneth

Kenneth is a Member of Parliament representing Gatanga constituency in Murang’a County.

His history is scarce and scattered. He has been in parliament for the last ten years; he had a short stint heading the Kenya Football Federation and the Kenya Reinsurance.

Kenneth is a proud owner of three choppers each costing a staggering 300 million shillings, making him a big fish.

In simple terms, three choppers cost a whooping 900 million shillings, or rather five times what Matha Karua has earned for the entire 20 years she has been in parliament.

Peter kenneth is filthily wealthy. With all due respect, Kenyans might want to know just how you acquired the wealth, so be the gentleman you are and declare your wealth. I rest my case!

Of Fake degrees in a fake country

Of fake degree papers and drama kings

Starehe MP Bishop Dr. Margeret Wanjiru is a distraught woman.

In a span of one short month she has seen her political star dim in never seen before speeds, thanks solely to her degree papers that someone somewhere decided were not in order.

Over the last month, the good bishop has faced the toughest time of her short political career. Leave alone being declared illegitimately elected in 2007 and trouncing her competitors only to silence them with a landslide win in the by elections, this time she has been barred from contesting the Nairobi gubernatorial seat, at least on an ODM ticket, after her degree certificates were found to be defective.

Even if that might be true, at least if reports from the Commission on higher education are anything to go by, this begs the question, just why this late?

The party could have vetted her a long time ago and declared her unfit to run! Here, as someone whispered to me, political games have been played, and as Kenyans are wont to say, Money has been poured!

Although an impeccable source privy to her academic documents insinuated that she got her Master’s degree way before her undergraduate degree, something that is alien in the academic world, there is certainly more than meets the eye.

Bishop Wanjiru, in her televised rebuttal said she is a proud owner of five degree papers, 2 academic and three honorary, but claims abound that the theological colleges she attended abroad are not authorized to confer degrees.

Day of Reckoning

Last Tuesday, the Orange Democratic Movement, a vessel that the bishop had chosen to steer her to the governor’s seat, disqualified her from contesting, leaving his rival and business manager Evans Kidero, to clinch the party nomination  unrivalled.

That was her day of reckoning, the day she saw her political ambitions go down the drain in a flash.

It is not clear whether the bishop is vying for any other elective post.

Clifford Waititu the drama king

Ferdinand Waititu is made of sterner stuff. He has been in the news for all the wrong reasons.

At one time, he was arrested for fanning hate speech in Kayole, Embakasi after he ordered all maasai’s to vacate the area, only to defend himself by making one of the most freakiest excuses.

He said that he was telling his Maasai friends that, “Masaa hii hii wanaenda” loosely translated to mean “my friends are leaving immediately’ and as expected tye toothless dog that is the National Cohesion and Integration Commission bought that!

In his latest installment of political drama, he has been on the spotlight, this time over his degree papers.

The papers are said to bear the names, Clifford Waititu, while his ID has Ferdinand Waititu as his name. Fortunately, Waititu has survived all this and even went ahead to stun his political rival for the Nairobi gubernatorial seat, the moneyed business magnate and self made billionaire, Jimnah Mbaru, who had been touted to have three top of the range campaign tracks, had erected three billboards at strategic place3s and went on to lost The national alliance ticket to Waititu, who has fashioned himself as a man of the people.

My two pence on this, there comes a time when the truth has to set you free.

I rest my case!